Personal? Oh Yeah He's Personal!!!

Isn't it funny how some people don't think that God is personal? That he doesn't care or understand what is going on in our lives?

Well, I don't know about yours, but he's personal in mine. I've been on a down slope and haven't really allowed myself time lately to just sit in God's word. As many of you probably know, the less you're in the word, the less connected you feel. So not being in the word as much led to not praying as much! You get the picture.

This morning I was just tired of it and I just confessed and I specifically said "how can you forgive someone so much that is far from deserving of it". I continued my day and got around to go to a show that my church band was performing at and I was looking in the mirror and I was flustered. I couldn't get my hair just right. I knew I'd have the windows down and that it would be all messed up when I got there but it still had to be just right before I left. Finally, I was frustrated enough I flung my hands in the air and loudly said "FORGET IT!" and stormed out of the bathroom. (My 29 year old fit like a 2 year old, no worries happens all the time ask my husband!!) Anyway, I went about getting things ready to go and for some reason I had the desire to find a devotional I hadn't picked up in a while (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young). I looked for it and flipped it open to today's date and it read: "You make a practice of judging yourself based on how you look or behave or feel. If you like what you see in the mirror, you feel a bit more worthy of my love." ... Uhhh whoa. I couldn't believe it said that...really, because it's true but it like jumped out at me like the words were alive!!! THEN, it goes on to say "Instead of trying to "fix" yourself, fix your gaze on Me, the Lover of your Soul. Rather than using your energy to judge yourself, redirect it to praising me." I couldn't help to notice the slow smirk that found it's way across my face.

I was floored that a book, with words not specifically written for me, could hold such a smack in the face! Every word in that devotion singed through my mind like a lighter through plastic. I am thankful for a God who is personal and knows how to talk to those who might not be so willing to listen (which was me this morning!).

Tell me again that God isn't personal! I dare you! Then, I will also dare you to try it out and see! One of the songs our praise band sang today was you are amazing, more than amazing, forever our God, you're more than enough. He is amazing! There's no denying that. I am so thankful that God speaks to me in terms that I can understand but also in ways that catch my attention; like the words of a book smacking me in the face telling me to pull myself together and look up, not at a reflection in the mirror!

Foggy Path

The girls and I spent the day with my sister and mom. We had a long fun day of swimming and just being together. My sister announced that she is being deployed to Guam in about a month. Kevin had to work so he drove up separate later on. My mom lives about an hour away from us and by the time we left it was after 11pm. I can not see well in the dark to drive and my fan for my air and defrost is broken so my window was fogging up so it was extra hard to see. It was humid and sticky out but it was too chilly for me to have the windows all the way down. I was fine when we were on the highway because I was behind Kevin the whole way but once we were off the highway we got separated.

I instantly felt myself starting to panic. I am terrified of night driving (one of my many fears) mostly because you never know if the person coming at you is drunk...but that's another story. So Kevin wasn't in front of me and I couldn't see, my window was super foggy, the road had recently been repaved and the lines weren't there to help guide me in my distress. I set a goal for myself to get to Lincoln Lake road because then I knew I was almost home! It got harder and harder to see probably because of my panic in reality. I needed Kevin, I needed to be able to see him right in front of me; to guide me home. To guide me to my goal. I depended on him to be the light that I felt I needed.

This situation reminded me of how we should depend and trust God. He is the ever present light. The guide through the foggy night. When we can't see we need to know that he's just up ahead making the path more clear for us. Even when we can't see the lines in the road he's always there we just need to trust him to be the light to guide us to our goal ahead and to trust that he'll get us there safely.