"Practice What You Preach!"

Today, I emailed my sister (18) who is dealing with the loss of a friend. I was trying to bring some light to her pain of the loss and trying to use God's word to also bring comfort. Yesterday, I was doing a small study on what the bible tells about alcoholism. I misread the page number and ended up finding 1 Corinthians 15:50-57. I used this to email my sister and encourage her that death has no victory, death has no sting. Part of my encouragement to her was something from my own experience from losing a dear friend at a young age. I always re-read my emails to double check spelling. When I re-read this email to her I realized what I actually wrote and that I wasn't applying it to my own situation. Sometimes we need to take a step back and follow our own advice! 


When I was 16 I lost a very dear friend of mine Ryan Michael Evola. He died in a tragic car accident. My heart for many years was broken. Why was he taken at the young beautiful age of 15. Why was his cousin driving the car that killed him? Why him and not Danny? Why? Why Ryan? Ryan loved basketball. His life was promising and he was very smart and very loved. He brought a bright shining light into any room that he walked into. He was an amazing friend. I have been broken over his death for almost 12 years without realizing that I wasn't letting him go. He crosses my mind every day. I miss him every day. Why? Because I refuse to let him go. I refuse to let go of the tragedy that happened July 29, 2000. 


My advice to my sister was in part this: What kind of life would Emma have led if she lived? Would she be able to live the life that she wanted to live? Grieving is something we as humans do selfishly. We think of our pain of losing our loved one and not of what a blessing their death may have been for them. Emma is now in no more pain she has been relieved of all the restrictions that she had and she is now living free with the Father!! Would Ryan have lived a full life like he would have wanted? Probably not due to the type of injury that killed him. He would have never been able to live the life he lived before. He would have certainly had to be dependent fully on someone else the rest of his life. This is not what God had intended for Ryan. Ryan would have hated that.


I realized after saying that to her how selfish I was being to not let Ryan go. I was selfishly holding on to him therefore I was causing my own misery. By not letting him go to God I was reminding myself that I was missing him every day instead of remembering that I will see him again some day. He's in the arms of the Father right now! How lucky is he? He's not living in a way unsuitable for him. He's not living in dependence of others the way he may have been if he would have lived. It was in his best interest for God to call him home. God wasn't looking at our best interest in keeping Ryan with us because his life wouldn't have been what He intended for it to be. I'm sure that there would have been an enormous amount of trials and pain and sorrow if Ryan would have lived under the conditions of the accident. I know that is why God took him home. So because of this, I'm letting him go knowing that I will see him when my time comes and knowing and trusting that he's living a happy life in heaven! 

Rest In Peace Ryan! I'll be seeing you! 

"I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we WILL ALL BE CHANGED- in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory!" "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:50-57

First Grade Field Trip

Emmalee went on a field trip to John Ball Park Zoo on Thursday! She was so excited to be there and for me to join her class. I wasn't a chaperon but I was so thankful that I went because the chaperone's in my opinion were given too many kids. The group Emmalee was in had six kids in it. Each group was like this and the teacher had no kids. The kids were all excited and they I think were a bit overwhelmed as well. They were running wild. The chaperon and I made a joke about the bear that was trying to get out the door  to his enclosure. We thought he might be saying "Let me out! Let me out! It's like a ZOO out there!!!" 

Overall though we had a really nice time. Kevin and I really love the zoo and we really enjoy taking our kids there. Seeing and learning about animals that we simply do not see every day but are living in the wild somewhere on our beautifully constructed planet! 

They had to fill out sheets that told if the animals they seen were mammals or not mammals! We were asked over and over again by all the kids if each animal layed eggs.

                           From left to right: Jackson, Emmalee, Abby, Olivia, Pedro, and Lucas

The kids also got to do an Animal Encounter session. Where they went into a classroom and they let them see and touch a few different animals.

The Opossum

The Rabbit

                                    

The Hedgehog

The Porcupine (they weren't allowed to touch this guy)

The Cutest Baby Camel!!

Penguin Eggs

                                                          My sweet Emmalee!!!
                                                       

Memories...

Recently a little girl from Emmalee's school was diagnosed with leukemia. She is 8 years old, so only one year older than Emmalee. I have kept up on her prognosis on facebook and on carepages.com. My heart hurts for this family. I've seen pictures that bring back memories for me. Cancer patients never get over having cancer. We might be considered cured but we still can taste the tastes and smell the smells and feel the pressures of having cancer and going through chemotherapy. We are forever connected and when one hurts we all hurt for them.


Yes for those of you who are wondering chemotherapy has a taste. It doesn't have a smell that comes right out but the smells of the hospital and the other medications are there. The smell of the alcohol swabs and the gloves and the hand sanitizer. The sounds of IV machines dinging, the sounds of buzzing for a nurse, the phone ringing, a code being called for a room where you know the patient in. There are many things that can trigger these memories like getting a cold or seeing a picture. There are things that can be done like having candy in your mouth that take the edge off but its not something that you ever forget. Ever. Sometimes when I get sick and feeling really crummy I can taste it. Our outward appearance may look "cured" but are our hearts ever really cured from the trauma and the pain of realizing that our lives were forever changed? No. You never get over it. You are never fully cured of the pain. 


My heart isn't so much broken for this little girl but more broken for her parents. Don't get me wrong there is heartbreak for her too but now that I am a mother I can not even come close to imagining what it must be like sitting next to one of my girls laying in a hospital bed not being able to give them the comfort they need from the churning stomach or the pain that comes with the medications. Not being able to tell them without a doubt that they are going to be healed and be home any day. You never know when you are in that situation if there is going to be a tomorrow. You don't know if you are going to wake up to the beautiful smile of your sweet sweet baby (no matter their age they are your babies). There are no guarantees in this life. We all need to recognize that and we need to live the lives God gave us accordingly.  Hug your children tonight and thank the Lord that He blessed you with their health and their lives and remember the next time that you get upset with them that tomorrow may never come. Fill them with all the love that you can and fill them with the word of God so that they may always fall back on it in the midst of any trials that come. 


The only thing we can do as God's people for these families, the only impact we can make with them isn't with donations or visits or cards (these things are important for encouraging purposes please don't misunderstand they need them too). It is to simply fold our hands, bow our heads, and pray.

Our Unexpected Visitor!

My sister in law texted me to find out if I could watch my new nephew Payton today for a short time. An instant smile drew over my face and I of course replied with I'd love to! It's hard to believe that we can forget things about our children. Like how tiny they were, how they smelled, how they felt. Well I got a really nice reminder today of all of these things. Little Payton certainly carries traits of his grandfather Scott. I was shocked at how he resembled Scott rather than one of his parents. I enjoyed every second I had with him today and hope for many more opportunities to experiance his sweetness! What a wonderful event in our day!

Ellisyn was pretty non-chalant about it. At first she cared but then went about her business in her room.

Bella on the other hand was extemely intrigued. She kept trying to figure out what in the world was in my hands. She would get a little closer and a little closer and then Payton would make a noise and she'd jump and run away. Before long she was back investigating again. Before I knew it Bella was in the same chair as I was cautiously smelling Payton. It was pretty priceless. The picture shows only a small amount of her curiousity!

Thank you Meagan for bringing a ray of sunshine into our afternoon!

Smiles That Brighten My Day!

We went out to our favorite local place to eat today for lunch Twist and Shout in Greenville! Emmalee wasn't able to be there because she was at school. Elizabeth got to see her favorite lady Shelly there and that made her day! It was special for me to take them out. I haven't been able to do that with them in quite some time so I really enjoyed being able to do that. In a time when everything seems hard around every corner it was nice to see God's light shine through their beautiful smiles this afternoon.

     Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8