Memories...

Recently a little girl from Emmalee's school was diagnosed with leukemia. She is 8 years old, so only one year older than Emmalee. I have kept up on her prognosis on facebook and on carepages.com. My heart hurts for this family. I've seen pictures that bring back memories for me. Cancer patients never get over having cancer. We might be considered cured but we still can taste the tastes and smell the smells and feel the pressures of having cancer and going through chemotherapy. We are forever connected and when one hurts we all hurt for them.


Yes for those of you who are wondering chemotherapy has a taste. It doesn't have a smell that comes right out but the smells of the hospital and the other medications are there. The smell of the alcohol swabs and the gloves and the hand sanitizer. The sounds of IV machines dinging, the sounds of buzzing for a nurse, the phone ringing, a code being called for a room where you know the patient in. There are many things that can trigger these memories like getting a cold or seeing a picture. There are things that can be done like having candy in your mouth that take the edge off but its not something that you ever forget. Ever. Sometimes when I get sick and feeling really crummy I can taste it. Our outward appearance may look "cured" but are our hearts ever really cured from the trauma and the pain of realizing that our lives were forever changed? No. You never get over it. You are never fully cured of the pain. 


My heart isn't so much broken for this little girl but more broken for her parents. Don't get me wrong there is heartbreak for her too but now that I am a mother I can not even come close to imagining what it must be like sitting next to one of my girls laying in a hospital bed not being able to give them the comfort they need from the churning stomach or the pain that comes with the medications. Not being able to tell them without a doubt that they are going to be healed and be home any day. You never know when you are in that situation if there is going to be a tomorrow. You don't know if you are going to wake up to the beautiful smile of your sweet sweet baby (no matter their age they are your babies). There are no guarantees in this life. We all need to recognize that and we need to live the lives God gave us accordingly.  Hug your children tonight and thank the Lord that He blessed you with their health and their lives and remember the next time that you get upset with them that tomorrow may never come. Fill them with all the love that you can and fill them with the word of God so that they may always fall back on it in the midst of any trials that come. 


The only thing we can do as God's people for these families, the only impact we can make with them isn't with donations or visits or cards (these things are important for encouraging purposes please don't misunderstand they need them too). It is to simply fold our hands, bow our heads, and pray.