"Practice What You Preach!"

Today, I emailed my sister (18) who is dealing with the loss of a friend. I was trying to bring some light to her pain of the loss and trying to use God's word to also bring comfort. Yesterday, I was doing a small study on what the bible tells about alcoholism. I misread the page number and ended up finding 1 Corinthians 15:50-57. I used this to email my sister and encourage her that death has no victory, death has no sting. Part of my encouragement to her was something from my own experience from losing a dear friend at a young age. I always re-read my emails to double check spelling. When I re-read this email to her I realized what I actually wrote and that I wasn't applying it to my own situation. Sometimes we need to take a step back and follow our own advice! 


When I was 16 I lost a very dear friend of mine Ryan Michael Evola. He died in a tragic car accident. My heart for many years was broken. Why was he taken at the young beautiful age of 15. Why was his cousin driving the car that killed him? Why him and not Danny? Why? Why Ryan? Ryan loved basketball. His life was promising and he was very smart and very loved. He brought a bright shining light into any room that he walked into. He was an amazing friend. I have been broken over his death for almost 12 years without realizing that I wasn't letting him go. He crosses my mind every day. I miss him every day. Why? Because I refuse to let him go. I refuse to let go of the tragedy that happened July 29, 2000. 


My advice to my sister was in part this: What kind of life would Emma have led if she lived? Would she be able to live the life that she wanted to live? Grieving is something we as humans do selfishly. We think of our pain of losing our loved one and not of what a blessing their death may have been for them. Emma is now in no more pain she has been relieved of all the restrictions that she had and she is now living free with the Father!! Would Ryan have lived a full life like he would have wanted? Probably not due to the type of injury that killed him. He would have never been able to live the life he lived before. He would have certainly had to be dependent fully on someone else the rest of his life. This is not what God had intended for Ryan. Ryan would have hated that.


I realized after saying that to her how selfish I was being to not let Ryan go. I was selfishly holding on to him therefore I was causing my own misery. By not letting him go to God I was reminding myself that I was missing him every day instead of remembering that I will see him again some day. He's in the arms of the Father right now! How lucky is he? He's not living in a way unsuitable for him. He's not living in dependence of others the way he may have been if he would have lived. It was in his best interest for God to call him home. God wasn't looking at our best interest in keeping Ryan with us because his life wouldn't have been what He intended for it to be. I'm sure that there would have been an enormous amount of trials and pain and sorrow if Ryan would have lived under the conditions of the accident. I know that is why God took him home. So because of this, I'm letting him go knowing that I will see him when my time comes and knowing and trusting that he's living a happy life in heaven! 

Rest In Peace Ryan! I'll be seeing you! 

"I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we WILL ALL BE CHANGED- in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory!" "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:50-57